Loneliness and strength

Feeling very alone in this stage of my life. I need to feel loved and hear that I am loved, every side is falling apart and I'm just trying to deep breath and not stress out. Telling myself over and over again to keep my power, find my strength and move with the tide. My life has been planned for me, I need to just follow and stay healthy.

Thyroid issues

So my thyroid has a mass in it that is being fed by blood, it needs to be removed. Maybe this is why I'm having such a hard time loosing weight!!!?? Or maybe it's all the junk I can't stop eating? Anyways I'm headed for surgery sometime soon.

Never had surgery and it's all a little scary with it maybe being cancer. Once the mass is taken out they will test it for cancer and if it is cancer then I have to have the left thyroid taken out too. Craziness for a person who never gets sick.

At the same time this was all going down, Greg and I were dealing with a busted hot water heater that needs to be replaced. I guess it was a blessing in disguise because no real attention could be paid on me because phone calls needed to be made, so then I couldn't really think about everything and kind of stayed calm.

My parents are not calm though, my mon has called three times now asking different questions. It was making me stressed so I didn't return the last call ( Sorry Mom!). I just don't know what to think...do I get a second opinion? Do I go the holistic route first? Do I just go through with it? Do I trust my new doctors? So many things to think about.

One thing that Greg did that surprised me is he asked the doctor with the hormones I will be put on will it prevent me from having a baby one day? The doctor said no. I wasn't even there with my mind yet, thank God he was.

So I'll give you secret readers out there more info when I get it but for now I'm just gonna keep working and call it a night.

Xoxo