Thyroid Taken Out Week 2

I thought when you got your thyroid taken out you were supposed to feel so much better. I had this vision that I wouldn't be as tired, that I wouldn't be as anxious, that I wouldn't be as impatient, but I am still all of those plus depressed. It could be that I miss work, but that is just my guard up to the world...working all the time. Work takes all my attention away so that I don't have to think about the "what if's" of life.

What if I am not supposed to be doing what I am?
What if I am wasting time?
What if I am not loved the way I want to be?
What if I will never find someone who completes me?
What if I move?
What if I have something else wrong with me?
What if I made a mistake in my life?
What if I will never feel happy?


I thought for some reason these feelings would go away, being sad and feeling alone in my life. I always end up feeling alone. I don't know why when I crave to have someone understand me and see who I really am. Everyday I feel alone with my thoughts, like I am going to be judged and I realize I don't give anyone the time to prove me wrong. I hide and mask my feelings. I'm really sad, I know this. I also know I need therapy, but even then I feel I can't make the time.


Step 1 after thyroid surgery: get a therapist

My goal for the day.

Thyroid is outtie!

With having to have my thyroid out and having my car totaled, I haven't slept much. I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, good thing I go in for surgery today and will get a "good nights rest" while I'm there!

It's strange how we all hold tension. I have been watching myself and my habits when I feel stressed. I grind my teeth, have upset stomach issues, get headaches, don't eat all day then go on a binge feast at night, loose my temper, etc. etc.

Today I feel calm, tired, and looking forward to moving ahead.

Let's see what else this crazy like will bring me!